Ripples, Waves, a Hurricane
About a week ago, I was taking a walk in the woods as I do every morning. On these walks, I ponder everything from creative ideas to problems I’ve encountered, I pray, I proclaim all my desires to the trees and they listen lovingly. Sometimes I’m silent, sometimes I talk nonstop — if you know me well, you know if I get on a topic I’m passionate about that I can talk for hours. The trees and the river and the mud and the fields all hold space for my babbling. I’ve found that putting my body into motion helps put any stuck thoughts or feelings into motion too.
Over the past nearly three years I’ve been living as an artist, my definition of “art” has continued to shift and expand. I think that’s the nature of any relationship to any thing — the longer we know something, the more deeply we come to know it. How? By experimenting, by pushing our own boundaries.
I have come to define art as creative expression. It is first, an idea. But before the idea can become art, it must first be held without judgment. Judgement, in this early phase of creation, damages the idea. It’s like manipulating flower petals before the bud has had its own space to bloom.
I have found that I create truly inspired work when I don’t hold myself back. Notice I said, “ inspired,” not my “best work” or “most impressive work,” those words are judgmental words, comparative words, words that really aren’t useful for the act of creative expression. As I’ve continued to grow and to stretch myself as an artist I have found it best to avoid the question of, “what if no one likes it?” and be brave enough to create it anyway. It requires a willingness to be vulnerable over and over and over again, which requires resilience, an unchanging sense of self-worth, regardless of the outcome.
Lately, I’ve been drawn to creating art that is outside of my normal realm, art that explores darkness, shadows. Art that I may not be so skilled at creating at first, and may not be described by others as beautiful. I thought to myself on one of my walks, “okay, so someone thinks it’s ugly, then what?”
I found myself arriving at the notion, “Then I’ve succeeded.”
I would much rather express than do nothing. I would much rather write or say or paint something that comes from a place of authenticity than hold that back from the world for fear of what that expression might make people feel or think.
Art is just expression and expression is just movement. It ripples out, it creates an impression. It may take someone’s breath away, it may disgust them, it may cause them to want to respond with whatever feeling or thought was provoked by my expression.
Whatever the case, what I have done is I have created movement. I have created a shift in the energetic field around me just by being me. I can be small or I can be big or I can be loud or I can be quiet, or sad or angry or weak or powerful, but any way I see it, I am always creating movement around me. Maybe that movement is repelling or maybe it is attracting, but it’s never doing nothing.
So, if I am going to create movement — ripples, waves, a hurricane — then I may as well do it intentionally, and I may as well do it honestly. I may as well set myself free.